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A moment later the same bright light attacked his right eye. His eyes wouldn’t reopen, no matter how he tried, and as he tried he could hear murmurs around him. His right hand was warm, and later something touched his left cheek. There were more murmurs around him, and then the constant rhythmic noise began to fade away.The rhythmic noise was back, and this time he could recognize the sound. It was an infusion pump, and he last heard one when his father made his last, one-way, trip to the hospital. It was the regular cycling of the pump he was hearing, and he could tell the pump was on his left. He was confused still, wondering why he could hear it, but he could see nothing. Whenever Matti tried to open his eyes it was as though they had been glued shut. He tried once more, and a flash of light momentarily rewarded him. He tried again, but this time there was no reward. His eyes were glued shut again.He tried to focus on other things he was feeling, especially the warmth in his right. People in this stage of the coming out process start to notice their attraction to same-sex people and really question what it means. Am I gay? Am I a lesbian? Am I transgendered? Am I bisexual? Within this stage there may be a denial of inner feelings as a person continues to see themselves as a member of the mainstream, heterosexual population. Some may consider their behaviors as ‘just experimenting’. Some people in this stage might keep emotional involvement separate from their sexual activity; others may choose to have deeply emotional relationships that are non- sexual.Step Two: Identity Comparison At this stage, a person may try to find an explanation for why they are having the feelings they are experiencing. "Maybe I am gay. Or maybe I’m bisexual.” Feelings of isolation & alienation are common in this stage. A person might wonder “Is this a phase?” “Am I only attracted to this one same sex person, or is this going to be a permanent trend?”Step Three: Identity Tolerance.In.
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